Faith, Hope, Triumph and Tragedy

By Billa Burra

It's hard to know how we should look back on this year. In many ways it has been a breakthrough year, and an absolute triumph. We have had less than 100mm for the year, and 85mm for the growing season. Less than the devastating drought of all droughts in 1982 and 2002. We should not have any crop - but we do. And it is because we (meaning all of us) are much better at managing our resources in a tough environoment in a hard year. In fact up until a couple weeks ago we still had potential for quite a good season - and it could be argued that if we had an inch of rain tommorow that we could still be saved by the bell and still come out okay.

But we are not sure that bell is going to ring. We have spent the year with faith and hope. It seems every 14 day forecast since May has shown good rain prospects at the end of the run - but they never eventuate. And at the end of those 14 days as the promised rainfall seemingly evaporates in front of our eyes, we looked forward to the next 14 day forecast, and the next and the next. Its a farmers life, glass half full, faith and hope.

Our crops are now showing significant signs of moisture stress, and are deteriorating daily. But, the 14 day forecast still gives some hope - at the end of the run, and if it comes off there is still some reasonable potential. If...

As you all know, at Bulla Burra we always try to look for the positives. And without a doubt this years triumph has been what we have been able to produce till now on so little. It has allowed us to continue to cling to hope despite history saying that the season should have been over ages ago. In some ways, that makes it even harder when you now get to this point and realise that even the best management practices may not matter if ultimately the critical rains don't come.

And this is why it is so critical that we rally around eacjh other, as communities, as families and friends. It is why we need to ask each other RUOK. Farmers are tough bastards, farmers partners don't always like to pry and farmers kids can often see things aren't okay, but don't know what to say. As male farmers we often hide behind a mask of pride, and feel the pressure of protecting our families from what might be the harsh realities of our season. Our familes want to hear 'it'll be alright', and that is a hard cross to bear when deep down we might not believe this ourselves.

The reality is, things might be tough - but the sun will come up tomorrow (and it always rains after a dry spell). But sometimes we need this pointed out to us. We need to realise we are not going through it alone, that others have been through it before, that there is a silver lining somewhere. We need people to ask us RUOK. And if you arent feeling okay - say so. It doesnt mean you are weak. It doesnt mean you have failed. It means you are a human being holding stuff in to protect others - and the best thing we can do is talk about it. And that likely may involve beer, rum or other conversation looseners - and thats not a bad thing. Someone's way of asking you RUOK may be to invite you around for dinner, or to a footy final, or a weekend away to the city to get your mind off the everyday. It might be meeting your neighbour by the back fence when you are going around the sheep and lamenting the season together with as many expletives as you like where no one else can hear. It may be part of the conversation when a member of Rotary calls you up to ask if you can put in an apology for them at next weeks meeting.

Hopefully someone asks you RUOK, and when they do, you answer honestly. And maybe the reason they are asking, is that secretly they are hoping you may ask the same of them...

The sun will come up tomorrow, and one day, some day, the 14 day rainfall forecast will be correct. Yes it will.